It was a beautiful sunny day; I received a call from my mom. “Your grandfather’s stomach hurts and we have called an ambulance,” she said. I could hear the despair in her voice. It was such an act of God that my family was available to rush to the hospital. Little did we know it would be the last time we would see my grandfather alive. The doctors said there was nothing else they could do and just like that he took his last breath. The man that raised me was gone! It is a true statement when people say it takes a village to raise a child. While my parents were involved in my life, so were my grandparents. They were my second set of parents. I would travel with them, my papa taught me how to drive and he taught me about adulthood (bills, education, etc.). I have never experienced a feeling like this and this process of transition has been more than difficult. I felt like my heart fell out my chest. There have been many days I want to call him on the phone, or want to give him a big hug but that is impossible.
I do believe death is a wonderful beginning, a threshold to a new and more beautiful world. But the love ones on earth cannot experience that. So it has made me ask many questions. Can he see me from heaven? Does he miss me just as much as I miss him? I have asked God to tell him, I miss and him and love him very dearly. I don’t know if it really works that way but it brings me comfort.
I do think he can see us here on earth but I don’t think he has the same feelings like we do here on earth. I don’t think it’s possible in heaven. The bible isn’t clear about whether or not those in heaven can see us, although it does hint that they do.
The book of Hebrew tells about great men and women of faith who are in heaven. Then it goes on to say, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses … let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us” (Hebrews 12:1). Like spectators in an arena, the bible suggests they are watching and cheering us on as we seek to follow Christ! How amazing 🙂 Probably because that is the main focus of heaven… Christ.
Heaven is a mystery, but one thing is for sure. Our hope of heaven is based on Jesus Christ and what he did for us through his death and resurrection.
So I have prayed for peace and understanding. However, I began to lose focus in life. I couldn’t focus and I couldn’t sleep. I would just talk to my grandfather aloud until I was encouraged to think about life differently. I am able to think clearly and I am starting to put my life back in order. It is not easy but with the grace of God it will be accomplished. I am still grieving however I am living. I am praising God for my victory even though I am going through.
If any of you are experiencing the loss of loved one understand you are not alone. Continue to pray and ask God for healing and peace. Understand everyone grieves differently and most people that you encounter will not understand grief. That is ok, it not for them to understand. Keep your head high and do things that would make your loved one proud of you.
Peace and Blessings.