Journal

 

1.27.15 7:29 pm

The Day That Changed My Life Forever

It was a beautiful sunny day; I received a call from my mom.  “Your grandfather’s stomach hurts and we have called an ambulance,” she said.  I could hear the despair in her voice. It was such an act of God that my family was available to rush to the hospital. Little did we know it would be the last time we would see my grandfather alive. The doctors said there was nothing else they could do and just like that he took his last breath. The man that raised me wrong was gone! It is a true statement when people say it takes a village to raise a child. While my parents were involved in my life, so were my grandparents. They were my second set of parents. I would travel with them, my papa taught me how to drive and he taught me about adulthood (bills, education, etc.). I have never experienced a feeling like this and this process of transition has been more than difficult. I felt like my heart fell out my chest. There have been many days I want to call him on the phone, or want to give him a big hug but that is impossible.

I do believe death is a wonderful beginning, a threshold to a new and more beautiful world. But the love ones on earth cannot experience that. So it has made me ask many questions. Can he see me from heaven? Does he miss me just as much as I miss him? I have asked God to tell him, I miss and him and love him very dearly. I don’t know if it really works that way but it brings me comfort.

I do think he can see us here on earth but I don’t think he has the same feelings like we do here on earth. I don’t think it’s possible in heaven. The bible isn’t clear about whether or not those in heaven can see us, although it does hint that they do.

The book of Hebrew tells about great men and women of faith who are in heaven. Then it goes on to say, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses … let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us” (Hebrews 12:1). Like spectators in an arena, the bible suggests they are watching and cheering us on as we seek to follow Christ! How amazing 🙂 Probably because that is the main focus of heaven… Christ.

Heaven is a mystery, but one thing is for sure. Our hope of heaven is based on Jesus Christ and what he did for us through his death and resurrection.

So I have prayed for peace and understanding. However, I began to lose focus in life. I couldn’t focus and I couldn’t sleep. I would just talk to my grandfather aloud until I was encouraged to think about life differently. I am able to think clearly and I am starting to put my life back in order. It is not easy but with the grace of God it will be accomplished. I am still grieving however I am living. I am praising God for my victory even though I am going through.

If any of you are experiencing the loss of loved one understand you are not alone. Continue to pray and ask God for healing and peace. Understand everyone grieves differently and most people that you encounter will not understand grief. That is ok, it not for them to understand.  Keep your head high and do things that would make your loved one proud of you.

Peace and Blessings

 


 

God is faithful, and can bring good through the darkest times. 2015, was one of my most trying times of my life. Loosing my grandfather tested my faith and drew me even closer to God. He has always been the head of my life but I begin to question my purpose and why he could take someone so precious away from me. But he reminded me that I am here to serve the Lord in all my days. I have to say that he has been a remarkable God. As I look back over my life, there are so many instances where I say “that was nobody but God.” All the opportunities that I have had have come from my creator. To be twenty-five, owning a home, three degrees and working on a PhD, a wonderful family that loves me and great friends to surround me, that’s nothing but GOD!!I am truly grateful for all the life lessons he has taught me, good and bad. In this section of my blog I will talk about being a young Christian obeying God’s word and challenges that life can bring. I want to encourage you all to keep your faith even in the face of great trial. God said; “I will give you the treasures of darkness, and hidden wealth of secret places, So that you may know that it is I, The Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name.” Is. 45:3


February 4, 2016

Dating..I don’t remember it being so difficult. But I have been out the game for quite some time. I have met some very interesting people during this process. I am always surprised at the way men handle themselves on dates. However, nothing seems to phase me because just when I think I have seen it all, somebody comes and does the impossible. Meeting and learning more about people has encouraged to make a small requirement list in order to take me on a date. I do not think it is an extensive list but trust me it has been hard for most guys to meet. However, I know my king is out there somewhere. To all my single ladies out there, keep your heads up queens! You are not alone.


 


Runway fashion, at a fraction of the cost; yes, please!!! I’m talking, skirts, pleats, sequins, stripes, everything! I’m always looking for fabulous finds, and I love the fact that Charlotte Russe is catering to women who have a love for fashion, curves and a glamorous lifestyle. What I love most is that Charlotte Russe  features curve-enhancing silhouettes for every woman.

If you know me, you know I have a thing for shopping … but with prices as low as $10.00 well let’s just say there’s no buyer’s remorse here, haha!

Thank you Charlotte Russe and JCPenney for this fun and stylish fashion. I absolutely love how it fits. I always struggle with finding the right size because I’m not quite plus size and I’m not quite petite size either, I’m in between!

This outfit was worn for a brunch where my family was honored for their efforts of supporting collegiate education. It can be dressed up by adding jewelry.

Style Details:

Top: JCPenney Skirt: Charlotte Russe Shoes:GoJane

* This post is in collaboration with JCPenney, Charlotte Russe or GoJane, all opinions are my own.

 

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